Swallow - Contributor's Guidelines

1 - Ridiculous:

As if anyone would want to.

Nevertheless, all contributions will be gratefully received,

and will stand a very high chance of being used.

We (We! I.) can't pay though. Sorry.

2 - Anyway:

What I'm looking for can be decoded from the following editorial bullshit:-

Cartoons

... of any sort would be lovely.

One day the Internet *will* save the world.

Pedant

Ask yourself - did this piece *need* to be written.

If not - send it this way.

Bad Editor

No chance. This is mine and I'm keeping it.

And you're welcome, I hear you say. Oh sod off.

Poetry

Soppy stuff for 'love', spiky stuff for 'spit'.

The two will alternate.

Submissions that fit into neither category

have a high chance of spawning a new one.

Migration

A home for good but unsaleable travel pieces,

or a silly, but appropriate link.

DIY

Essays and comments on DIY culture.

(What's that? Read this)

Memo

Preferably real, preferably obnoxious.

So long as it's funny I don't actually give a shit.

Anything else

Email me and tell me what it is first.

3 - Otherwise:

submissions should be emailed to me

Bad Editor

at

waz@easynet.co.uk

in plain text format.

(sighs, shakes head and realises that the original intention to make the Contributor's Guidelines in some way amusing has gone terribly, terribly wrong.)

May / June '97

#4 - flagging faintly