i need to find some way of dealing with the fact that i am permanently
down all the time again. alcohol has ceased to block it out, and while
weed works, it only serves to carry on ensuring i continue to do
stupid things that keep me down
i am a male, so sex - in this state - is no option - women run from
lonely desperation faster than the eye can see, and trying to
pretend - to con someone - that i am other than this ain't my style.
but Christ it's been a fucking while.
it's going to be a while too.
Little Black Book by Wayne Myers